Realization
by CrystalxxDreams
Summary: Anyanka meets up with her past-- and her real feelings. Okay, cruddy summary, but I suck. Please just read it. It's just a thing I cooked up... Anya/Xander


Summary: A thousand years in the future, a girl challenges Anyanka. Anya's POV.  
  
Spoilers: Hell's Bells, for sure.  
  
Dedication: Frenchie, Danni, Kiskool and Natalya!  
  
Feedback: Has anyone ever said no to this?  
  
A/n: Anyway, this jumped into my head after Hell's Bells. * shrugs*  
  
  
  
  
  
The hallway looked like a picture of the inside of a medieval castle. Long, twisting and made of stone draped with crimson, black and burgundy cloth. A few torches were scattered around, casting a dreadful and eerie light. The light caught on the random suits of armor, making them stand out against there dark backgrounds. The doors that lined the hall were heavy and made of a kind of dark, rich wood. The air was cool, which most people would find surprising. Well, considering that hell is pictured as a hot place.  
  
Yes, I, Anyanka, was in hell. No, I wasn't dead. Just visiting. And apparently lost. I walked down the hallway, my footsteps echoing. My eyes scanning, I realized that one of the doors was ajar. I pushed it open and walked in. The atmosphere changed immediately.  
  
A scorching heat hung over the room, which wasn't odd since there was a huge fire burning over at the side where the floor stopped. And, chained up to a wall was a girl. Her hands were up, her shoulders slumped, and her chin rested on her chest. Her legs were an inch off the ground and her feet were pointing down, desiring to touch it. Her black hair hung heavily over her head and she was gaping for breath. She somehow felt my eyes on her, and she looked up to meet mine.  
  
"Who are you?" the girl asked.  
  
I didn't need to ask her the same question. She was a prisoner here, someone demons tortured for sport. She probably did something to her family, hurt someone, and ended up here. They all had the same past.  
  
"My name is Anyanka," I told her, my voice hard as steel, hissing and spattering like the fire.  
  
"Anyanka," she said, "I have heard of you. The patron saint of scorned woman," her voice was mocking.  
  
I just glared at her.  
  
She, however, was undaunted, "Want to know how I got here, Anyanka?" she asked, "Love put me here."  
  
"Love doesn't exist," I spat.  
  
Her eyes narrowed, "Love exists. I couldn't go through all of this without love. You see, Anyanka, it was love that brought me here, and if I live through it for long enough, they will set my lover free, and we will be together again."  
  
I sighed, "And live happily ever after," I sneered, "Well, let me tell you something, Child. Fairy tale endings are just that. Fairy tales. Every man, no matter how great will always betray you."  
  
Her eyes shined, "No Daniel. You see, Anyanka, here is my story."  
  
"I was born in 1884, to a rich man and woman. I was to marry to improve our wealth, and that was all that mattered, I was taught. However, my nurse read me tales, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Rapunzel and I began to believe that love could conquer everything. And then I meant him.  
  
"Daddy hired him to help with the stables. His name was Daniel. He taught me everything I needed to know about horses. He was kind, sweet, and could make me laugh. He put up with me, cared for me, and we became friends. Then one day he told me he loved me. That shocked me, and I avoided him for a week. Then, I realized I loved him too.  
  
"It was a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing. We were in love but could never be together. We meant by moonlight and talked. Walked together, talked together. Eventually I knew him backwards and forwards. Then my father found out. How that happened to this day I do not know. All I know is that it did happen. The next night when I went to see him, I ran into my father who told me that Daniel was gone. Well, you can imagine how upset I was. I searched for what seemed like forever. And then I ran into this girl who asked me how much I was willing to go through for him. I told her everything.  
  
"She told me that all I had to do to get him back was come with her. She lead me to a cave and explained my dad was a witch and had used dark magick to sell Daniels soul to the devil. She told me the price to get him back was to replace him for two thousand years. To undergo every kind of torture imaginable. After that time period was over, we would both be released and put back upon the Earth to wander in love again. So I agreed. And that is why I am here. "  
  
I rolled my eyes, "Love is for idiots. As soon as your out, your boyfriend will betray you."  
  
"No," the girl said fiercely, "he won't."  
  
"All men are this: betraying, lying scoundrels," I said.  
  
"How would you know?" the girl asked, "You've never been in love."  
  
My temper flared, "Wana bet?"  
  
"Yeah," the girl challenged.  
  
And the story came pouring out. My relationship with Xander, my coming back to seduce him to get him out of my mind, them falling in love, him asking me to marry her. The betrayal that I felt when she found out that all it took to make him second guess the wedding was a false glimpse of the future, the pain and embarrassment of walking alone, everything. My getting turned back into a vengeance demon, the torture I did to him, the pain I put him through and finally leaving him to die. Everything came pouring out of her mouth, and I found I was doing something had never done before. I was regretting.  
  
I was feeling love for Alexander Harris. And I hated it. By the end of the story I was in tears. Then the girl asked me the question I had been dreading.  
  
"Do you still love him?" she asked.  
  
I bit my lip, and tears stung my eyes, "Yes," I admitted in a small voice. I raised her eyes to meet the girls, but found her gone.  
  
Realization came pouring over me. I remembered the way ghosts of the past can come to the future and make you remember the feelings you wanted to forget. And then it clicked. The things goal. It wanted me to feel again.  
  
To have emotions.  
  
And I was.  
  
Anyanka had learned to feel again. 


End file.
